There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
THE AMOuNT OF secoNDHAND EMBARASSMENT I GET fROM MOvies is uNBELIEVABLE LIKE IF SOMEONE dOES a stupiD thiNG IN A MOVie i have to look away Bc it is Is TOO MUCH FOR ME To HANDLE
THE IMAGE WON’T LOAD, PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS SPIDERMAN THREE.
Dog: Oh you got new owner!
Cat: Yeah. She picked me up from the pound yesterday
Dog: She is so cute! What did you name her?
wow over the hedge fandom long time no see
on monday a guy walked into the psychology class i’m in and sat next to me. about 30 minutes into class, he leans over and whispers, ‘this isn’t algebra.’ and calmly stands up and walks out of the room. luv college
bury me in armor so I’ll be ready for the skeleton war
why is his fricking chest uncovered? that’s ppor planning right there
what are you gonna do?
stab a skeleton in the heart?
no, I’ll play their rib bones like xylobones and destroy the morale of the skeleton army with my sick and delightful xylobone playing